When someone you love dies it is hard to make sense of the experience. Your world gets tipped upside down and you feel out of sorts. While in this state of mind you are then called upon to make a number of critical decisions about the funeral and about how to navigate your way forward.
One natural reaction can be to want to get the funeral done as quickly as possible in a hope that in doing so you might start to feel better and the feelings of grief you are experiencing might go away. Unfortunately, that’s not how grief works. It takes time and the support of others to make sense of what has just happened and find your way through it.
We would suggest that the first thing you do following the death is to gather family and close friends together. Especially you should work out who needs to be involved in making funeral arrangements and when they are available. This is especially important if someone is out of town and needs to travel to be with you. Having people around you is comforting and there is strength in knowing you don’t have to face the future alone.
The second suggestion we have is not to be in a hurry. While 3-4 days is a traditional timeframe between the death and the funeral there is no issue with waiting longer if needed. As time passes you are able to make sense of what has happened, and you start to get clarity about what the future may look like for you. Moving slowly gives you time to make better decisions about the funeral and not feel rushed or pressured. It also provides you time and space to say goodbye in a meaningful way.
Finally, a beautiful funeral reflects the person that has died and acknowledges their contribution to your life. This means that there isn’t one right way to do a funeral. Just as each person is different funerals should be too. It is helpful and healing to honour someone’s life in ways that are personal. For example, you might play a favourite song, tell stories of adventures shared together, or display items from their life at the service.
We are here to help and will guide you through the funeral process step by step. We promise to listen, and make sure your wishes are carried out in just the right way. One phone call is all it takes to get started.
